Introverted
The first time I did a personality test was when I was in high school. I was about 16 or 17 and my friend had told me to try one out. After I completed it, I didn't want to believe the results. The results I got from this most recent attempt, were the same as the results from my high school one; INFP- Mediator. Mediators are often introverted, quiet, and reserved. I realize now, that this result does resonate with me the most. In high school, I wanted to be this extroverted person who got along with everyone and did everything everyone else was doing, but I realized that it was just a facade. Before high school, I was very shy and quiet, so the summer before my freshman year of high school, I told myself I was going to be more outgoing and be friends with everyone I could. It was very draining and I felt that I had lost who I was. I had this idea that being introverted was wrong and that I needed to change it, but I realized that wasn't the case.
During the pandemic, I had a lot of time for self-reflection, and I realized that being introverted wasn't a bad thing. I think that "The Power of Introverts", further cemented my belief that being introverted is okay. Sometimes, I still catch myself trying to latch onto that extroverted persona, and I end up socially drained every time. I'm still learning who I am and being okay with who I am. I think it's difficult to be yourself authentically, and I know everyone struggles with it. I just have to sit with myself and figure it out one step at a time. Hopefully, I'll be able to understand and fully be myself one day.
Hi Aisha, I can completely relate to your idea of trying to be an extroverted person even if you aren't. Every time I have taken the 16 personalities test, I always get an introvert. I also remember wanting to go to school or new places with this new personality, and try to be outgoing and make friends. Although my plan never seemed to work, I always found people similar to me that I could connect with. I also agree that the pandemic gave everyone time for self reflection, and allowed me to really appreciate enjoying alone time. I remember my very extroverted friend was distraught when we couldn't see each other but I was happy just texting her from the comfort of my bed. I think college is such an important time to truly find out who you are, and leave behind the person you tried to be during high school or before. I wish you well with your personal discovery and I believe that this class will help with that!
ReplyDeleteHi Aisha, this post was really interesting! Throughout reading it, I found myself relating to your gradual acceptance toward introversion a lot. For me, something quite similar occurred during quarantine in which I really felt like I was discovering who I was while isolating. I think its really inspiring that you're open about how you're still trying to feel comfortable and understand yourself more even as time progresses. I believe that is something really important to do around this age and I hope I can do the same as well!
ReplyDeleteLike Isabel and Isabella, I found my experience parallels yours in several ways, Aisha. I think the public tries to convince us that extroversion is the norm, and there's something wrong or deviant with being introverted. Susan Cain's book was validating to me in that respect, and helped me see that introversion/extroversion exists on a spectrum. We introverts can adapt to group settings when we need to, and also savor our solitude—without feeling odd or guilty about it!
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